"I'm stressed out" is by far the most common statement I hear during an office visit. It is the reason why women feel they are not able to eat right, stop smoking, exercise, sleep, focus, relax; the list is limitless. When asked what is causing stress the usual responses are job/co-workers, family, husband/partner, and money. Sadly, though many feel the weight of stress, most don't feel they have the power to reduce or resist it. For instance, people typically recover from short term stress, so pressure associated with a job interview or an exam usually resolves pretty quickly. But with long term stress, the recovery is perceived as more difficult, if not impossible, which can cause anxiety and reduce a person's sense of security.

Anxiety can retard an individual's capacity in their routine activities, relationships, and other roles. And when a performance deficit is recognized and/or pointed out, for some, the anxiety level is magnified; sleep is disrupted and eating habits are altered. If stress and anxiety are not addressed and re-oriented, the sense of security and balance can be lost. Counseling and medication have been shown to reduce these debilitating responses but unfortunately, most people only receive the medication. Learning to alter ones response to chronically stressful events is crucial to anxiety reduction. It has been well documented that middle aged women are most frequently diagnosed with anxiety disorder. From what I have witnessed, I believe this may be related to the piling on of stressors over a lifetime without resolution. So, in the words of Erykah Badu, I encourage everyone to "pack light"!

Odd as this may sound, I feel relieved when my patients shed tears. To me it's like a valve opened and some pressure was released. Though many apologize for crying, I am grateful that they are openly admitting something is wrong instead of continuing the façade of "I'm okay". Sure, in today's culture self-sufficiency is expected, but seeking and accepting help and encouragement from others is simply human and not a sign of weakness or inadequacy.

Help can come in many forms though it may not necessarily be a solution. For example, if work and child rearing responsibilities don't give you room for relaxation, ask a trusted neighbor, family or church member to watch your kids periodically and return the favor. Or, if assuming care for aging parents is encompassing all of your free time, don't let your sense of duty lead you to resist assistance offered by others to reduce your load. Depending on the circumstances, some may feel the need for medication and therapy. Because we will always face new challenges, one of our goals should be to acquire and maintain healthy coping skills to minimize stress.

To that end, in my role as helper, I attempt to introduce women to a range of different perspectives. Being open to a new perspective can be the difference between 1) seeing the loss of a job versus new opportunities, 2) receiving yet another work assignment versus broadening one's skills or 3) focusing on an unwanted diagnosis versus pursuing lifesaving therapy. The outcome of many scenarios is rooted in how we view things. No matter what circumstances lead to how we see the world, the beauty is we can always change our perspectives. Our responses are merely learned behaviors which many of us develop over time. For instance, how many people do you know that come unglued when they see spiders, bees, etc.? (I didn't have any rational behaviors during cicada swarms in 2011.) Part of keeping things in perspective may include developing a new one. Many of us may achieve a healthier outlook through the guidance of a counselor, pastor or trusted confident.

I, too, have encountered stressful situations in my life and career. For a good while I didn't handle it well and only focused on who or what was unfair by expressing frustration and anger; incredibly useless tools for implementing change. Complaining became my "go to" response and colored my perception of most encounters. Needless to say, I felt powerless, afraid and ignored, forgetting the limitless resources our Creator provides. Thankfully, in the midst of it all, I heard God calling me. He reminded me of His unfailing love and desire to keep us near Him throughout our lives not just when things are tough. Also, that no force of this world compares to His power and He chooses to provide good things for all of His children; even the loud, whining ones like me! My journey forward with God has indeed been enlightening and rich. Now that my heart is open and I have learned to trust Him, discomfort and stress as a way of life have been eliminated. My perspective is becoming more God centered and less about me. It has allowed me to achieve clarity of my purpose and potential. This transformation has kept me hopeful and secure knowing all things are possible through Him. Yes, I am human and have moments of anxiety and frustration but my "go to" response now is to the Lord. Maintaining peace in the Lord has become my greatest desire and my prayer for peace has been answered.

Knowing that a peaceful spirit can be achieved through God is a gift that I must share. Being aware of recent events in the lives of the famous and infamous, receiving His mercy and peace is timely. I offer no special formula or method, for I know it was passively received. His relationship with all of us is as unique as we are. Our required actions however, are repentance and submission to Him with a genuinely open heart. Our reward will be beneficial to mind, body and spirit: we will be given rest for His burden is light.